I want to stop breastfeeding: Weaning time
I want to stop breastfeeding and I do not know where to start.. I know it and I have been there
First of all congratulations, you have made it through the hardest part, where you are technically your little baby’s property :D. I congratulate you for the sacrifice, for the sleepless Nights, for the wonderful Bonding you have established with your Child, be proud because you made it. Whether it was a couple of months, a year, a 2 years, or a 3+ journey, you wanted to build a deep connection with your Child and you decided to dedicate your time, body and soul for it, and trust me no one could have replaced you in these times. (Note: if you have been preparing bottles, it is also great, and I congratulate you too for all your efforts, because it must have been tough too..)
Now, you want YOU back and I totally understand because I have been there. I breastfed my child for 2 years and I do not regret it, but at some point, it became a nightmare and maybe you will relate to the following. Your child breastfeeding schedule is no longer a schedule, and rather feels like a mess? Do you feel like your child is constantly asking to breastfeed even if they eat solids and even if they just breastfed 10 mins ago? Your child wants to hang at your breast just because they are bored, or because they want your attention? If the answer is Yes, and you are tired of it, it maybe mean you want to wean, and I know it can be ambiguous, scary, sad, emotional, but trust me, just like you managed to “survive” the whole breastfeeding journey, you will survive this part too.
There are certainly different scenarios and depending on how long you have been breastfeeding, you can adapt your “little strategy” to weaning. I will share some tips based on my experience (2 years of breastfeeding), and a step by step on how it evolved:
Step 1 - Getting used to solids/ other forms of nurturing: One thing I did after the 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding, I started introducing step by step solids, but that was really nothing compared to a “baby meal”, it was rather a spoon here and there, just to get my baby used to other flavors, textures and food in general.
Step 2 - Trying to keep track of 3 “Main breastfeeding” windows: This was the hardest because now that the milk supply is established, you want to keep your child satisfied and meet their demand, but some structure was certainly needed. I tried to keep track of the three main windows or breastfeeding behavior of my child during the day, which were around 3 times, immediately after he wakes up, for midday nap, before going to bed for the night.
Step 3 - Increasing the food amount or providing proper meals to different parts of the day to get them used to the meal times: I tried after every main breastfeeding session, to decrease the time of breastfeeding and offer some food on the side, which helped my child adjust to a new style step by step, and also for my milk to decrease to the new demand in order to avoid mastitis issues.
Step 4 - Dropping one main breastfeeding session: I read so much about this as well in the internet and I thought how am I to identify a session if my child is requesting to be fed every minute almost (or at least it felt like it), but I have tried to define for myself those sessions based on how important it is (e.g. association with bed time, or prolonged feeding) which really narrowed it down for me. It was not easy, but I have tried to drop his bed time breastfeeding session (night), by simply rocking him, talking gently. I was asked, but I gently reassured them that tomorrow they will get it, but tonight not. Followed the same pattern for couple of days non stop.
Step 5 - Dropping a second main breastfeeding session: I decided to drop the morning one where he just wakes up and chill with me. For this one, it was easy, we simply went to the kitchen and cooked something, or played together, to basically replace that pattern or waking up and demanding to be breastfed.
Step 6 - Dropping the third main session: the midday sleep session was the trickiest in our case, because it was daytime, he is conscious, but want to sleep at the same time. The combination of those two things made it hard to convince him to simply lay down and relax. So the key here is to stay persistent. It is hard, but trust me it is worthwhile.
You are now one step away from the end line - most probably of the first half marathon :D. You could be proud of yourself. Now you may be asking yourself, ok does it mean my baby won’t wake up at night to breastfeed? I am very sorry to disappoint you but it depends on your baby.
My little one continued waking up at night to ask for at least a good 2 to 3 weeks, but I was consistent with distracting him at night, talking to him, replacing breastfeeding by cuddling and close body contact. It did not always work, but it helped. Later, I have decided to give him a bottle of milk before sleeping and magically he was satisfied with the combination of cuddles and a milk bottle before sleeping which maybe kept him also full at night for a start.
long story short, take your time, stay consistent, cuddle and explain what is happening to your little one. They will surprise you how understanding they may be even when they are frustrated with the outcome, and just like I made it, YOU can MAKE IT too!