Positive Birth Experience
I am scared of giving birth… everyone says it is a painful experience, what should I do?
I had to deal with those questions early in my pregnancy and I must admit, I was scared, and I thought I wouldn’t be strong enough to deal neither with those thoughts nor with the birth itself. However, here I am telling you my story which turned out to be positive, regardless of all challenges.
It all started when I knew I was pregnant. I was happy, excited, feeling unique, but also scared of what is awaiting at the end of the pregnancy journey. My pregnancy went relatively positive with minor exhaustion at the beginning, although I suffered from an ear condition called Patoulous Eustaschian Tube. It caused me a lot of stress, but I decided not to give up because I need my energy for my baby.
Every time I talked to family and friends, the discussion turned around how giving birth is challenging, which of course is true, but no one wants to hear ONLY the NEGATIVE side of the story, and the issue is we tend to hear more about the negative news, rather than the positive ones. I therefore, decided to shut every non constructive conversation about giving birth off, and to adopt a positive attitude towards the topic.
This was literally a changing point for me during the entire pregnancy up to the day of delivery. I aimed for believing in my self, keeping calm, focusing on what empowers me and most importantly, I set a couple of tactics which I am happy to share with you.
So how to manage the fear of ChildBirth, A.K.A Tokophobia?
Educate yourself about the topic
Being acquainted with proper knowledge on giving birth (in whatever form) is key. It is similar to preparing for an exam, it may be scary at the beginning, but once you read, and research, you become more comfortable. As a first time mother, I understood that first time births typically last longer, and takes between 12 to 24 hours. But this may vary from one person to another, because there are people people who gave birth in 2 hours and barely had any pain. I therefore highly recomment to take part of birth course preparation with your partner, which will help you learn more in depth about giving birth, the different stages, how your partner or your birth companion can help etc…, and by meeting other couples and parents you will realize more that there is no need to be scared, and rather prepared. Overall, knowledge about the overall topic will help decrease stress, which is not good neither for you nor your baby.
Create Birth Plan
Knowing that you have a picture for how you want things to go will give you a sense of control. think about questions like, do you want to take pain killers, what type (in case of Vaginal birth)?, positions for birth, who do you want to be your birth companion? do you prefer home birth, or hospital?. It may sound crazy, but think also of what clothes do you want to wear, what music do you want to listen to, if you are hungry, what do you want to eat even. A birth plan goes beyond vaginal or C-Section - it is a special experience, so try to treat it as such.
Positive attitude (no stress - add some facts)
One very important aspect that could affect your birth positively or negatively is attitude. Remember, this whole journey you have gone through to meet your little one, it hasn’t been easy, it has been challenging and you are now ready to hold your beloved baby in your arms. Do not allow others impact your attitude - at least not negatively - and ensure you relax as much as you can because stressing out won’t be helpful. Rather than that try drinking herbal teas, take baths, meditate and do some breathing exercises to enhance a positive feeling and a positive attitude.
Be open about your feelings ( talk to doctor, Midwife, and beloved ones)
Many of us forget the role of opening up about our feelings especially that the pressure is so high and so many things are going on that we are incapable of digesting at once. This is exactly why actively talking openly about our feelings to our closest ones, and to the experts around us. Ask your doctors, and midwives about any clarity, talk to your partners, family and friends, let them know about your fears and doubts, as well as the stupid thoughts you might think of like “Am I ready for this?”, “I don’t know how to change diapers”, “bye bye long uninterrupted sleep!”. All of your feelings are legit and they deserve to be heard and spoken out.
Those are the four tips I wanted to share with you because they came in very handy when I thought and was convinced about not being able to give birth, and yet made it all the way through a long birth period with only positive memorises of it. YOU CAN DO IT! Learn more about birth, create a birth plan, stay positive minded, and speak about your feelings!